I have given up on fantasy land. This is not a pandemic. It’s a plandemic. A genocide. And people are too stupid to see it. So they don’t fight. And they willingly give in to the demons running this prison planet. I for one am sick of the lies. Everything in this world is a lie.
Beautiful home, but good not to have the burden of a mortgage (which you can eventually get rid of), and the taxes (which you can't).
I visited NZ years ago, beautiful, spacious, and seemed relatively cheap at the time, open beaches, and nice mountains and fjords in the south. Actively considered moving there... But even then, there were hints of the leftist bent... I think if I had moved there, and been under control of the horse faced demon/demigod, I would have been quite unhappy, and feeling very trapped... so it seems lucky that inertia won out and I stayed put.
I'm still in Colorado and semi-rural. We are close enough to get what we need, and far enough to have some breathing room (a couple of acres). We have always been very frugal, trading up from smaller homes with small mortgages, and this last house was bought more than 20 years ago when houses cost less $ but the $ were worth more... We have been frugal, and paid this thing off years ago. That just leaves the taxes, which are bad enough and not trending in the right direction...
I follow you because you seem bright, and are speaking from the heart, and your truth... and I respect that and may learn a bit from your experience.
Won't get into to details, but "When the bottom drops out, the sky opens up --learn to fly" is what I was desperatedly repeating to myself a few years or so back. Won't say I learned to fly, but I did talk myself -- in the good sense -- to moving on. Downsizing was part of it, to be sure.
These deeply personal posts are my favourite. Also, I bet, that NZ small apartment Monica was a blast and didn’t give a fuck about nuthin’. Do you have several life times under your belt already? Seems so. Also, wow, that kitchen!
Jul 11, 2022·edited Jul 11, 2022Liked by Monica Hughes PhD
Oh my gosh, you are still grieving so deeply, and my heart goes out to you. It all comes through so clearly in your writing. I hope that some day you will be truly free of all that loss and hurt and pain.
Jul 11, 2022·edited Jul 11, 2022Liked by Monica Hughes PhD
33 year professional university science student, lol. Yes 33 years. BS, BS, AS, Minor, Minor, Premed 3.72 gpa chose not to go to med school in 2018. Couldn't stand the thought of being INDOCTRINATED into Western Medicine. Against my innate beliefs. Thank goodness or I would currently owe $150,000.00 and be unemployed. Last year RN student 4.0 gpa. and can't complete. Also chose not to pursue MS indoctrination either. Tried out a MS in Integrative Genomics. Not to my liking (my childs diagnosis was genetic as well). University master gardener , naturapath, herbalist, and medical intuitive 24 years. Prolific to a fault and at the demise of many close relationships with my few friends, family, and my personal health, Covid Scientific Researcher 2+ years. Basically living low income welfare wagon retired life entire 33 years. Raised 2 children alone. Gifted with a child angel. 2nd son, and a polished soul, Gabriel diagnosed terminal at 10 months. He live 8 years. I was his care provider and he ours. Now I live alone in a lovely small house with a water fall and garden and am extremely uncertain about closing my eyes, letting go of my safe but very financially poor life and moving into the coorprate world of cannabis cultivation and a future of unknowns that potentially could be of my dreams. Working with Plant Medicine. Medicinal cannabis company with further recreational potential although I would prefer a Variety of plant medicines and the ability to still grow food if I have any time left over after working 40 hours per week and which I've never done before. I'm just over 50 yrs young. Have tons of hoard, 29 years of life to let go of and get rid of, holding me back. Must give up welfare wagon, all my stuff, move into the unkown, and hope to fulfill my destiny. Scared straight. But my soul, intuition, and synchronicity are glaring so brightly that I can hardly ignore. Anyone have any thoughts on this move? and thank you for sharing Monica.
A lot of life-lessons wisdom in this piece. Yes, you've been prepared for loss. Once you've already made a groove for starting over, much easier to find it the next time you need it. I have my own big loss stories and I know the territory. The cracks pain can wield turn out to create ground for new growth. Thanks - well written and really enjoyed that.
Some of us went through that after 2008. I'm finding myself in a considerably better position in 2022, far more prepared and ready. Even as the scale of what is coming will dwarf the Great Recession.
I grew up dirt poor. My parents were both alcoholics. Dad couldn't hold a job and we were always getting kicked out and moving. If I wanted anything, I had to steal it or build it. Thank God I got caught stealing when I was 10 and it scared the shit out of me. And I found I was good at building things. My first bike was pieced together from scrap. It got stolen, lol. I still have a poor person's mindset. New things don't interest me, never had the latest anything. My kids, however, grew up solidly middle class, since I started a business at a young age and made decent money. I had 11 kids or we could have done better, lol. And they have a totally different mindset. It pains me to see them have to have the latest phone, fancy cars (one has a BMW), and houses they can just barely make the mortgage payments on. If things go much further south in this country, I don't know if they'll make it.
I come for the biting wit and cynicism, but this was touching. You are an excellent writer.
Rebuilding myself and my relationship with the world after loss is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. There’s no question that the pain and grief prepared me in ways I could not imagine to transcend my past self in these past two years of madness, same as it seems to have done for you. Keep shining, Monica. We’re all here, too, building something new and brave and beautiful.
2008 crisis hit us hard. My Dad tried to teach us about the boom n bust cycle n to live comfortably below our means. Some lessons you have to learn the hard way. This bust didn’t impact us as much bc we are downsized from our “golden” house living comfortably below r means lol. Our kids were in HS n college when 2008 hit n have memories of what we went through n so many of their friends losing everything, We now look back and say it was a valuable for us to learn when we still had years in workforce to recover n our kids never want a “golden” residence.
Crystal forms from condensation of something voluminous into more compact states, but there's also simmering down a sauce into a thicker, richer flavor. Becoming smaller is not always becoming less; loosening one's grip of the unnecessary frees up strength and space to tuck more into the authentic expression of one's joy and soul. Become a neutron star, and you'd be seen and felt from very far away.
Exquisitely written, Monica. This resonates deeply, thank you.
I have given up on fantasy land. This is not a pandemic. It’s a plandemic. A genocide. And people are too stupid to see it. So they don’t fight. And they willingly give in to the demons running this prison planet. I for one am sick of the lies. Everything in this world is a lie.
Beautiful home, but good not to have the burden of a mortgage (which you can eventually get rid of), and the taxes (which you can't).
I visited NZ years ago, beautiful, spacious, and seemed relatively cheap at the time, open beaches, and nice mountains and fjords in the south. Actively considered moving there... But even then, there were hints of the leftist bent... I think if I had moved there, and been under control of the horse faced demon/demigod, I would have been quite unhappy, and feeling very trapped... so it seems lucky that inertia won out and I stayed put.
I'm still in Colorado and semi-rural. We are close enough to get what we need, and far enough to have some breathing room (a couple of acres). We have always been very frugal, trading up from smaller homes with small mortgages, and this last house was bought more than 20 years ago when houses cost less $ but the $ were worth more... We have been frugal, and paid this thing off years ago. That just leaves the taxes, which are bad enough and not trending in the right direction...
I follow you because you seem bright, and are speaking from the heart, and your truth... and I respect that and may learn a bit from your experience.
Best wishes for all good things...
Won't get into to details, but "When the bottom drops out, the sky opens up --learn to fly" is what I was desperatedly repeating to myself a few years or so back. Won't say I learned to fly, but I did talk myself -- in the good sense -- to moving on. Downsizing was part of it, to be sure.
Damn it your writing made me cry... thanks for the shout out!
These deeply personal posts are my favourite. Also, I bet, that NZ small apartment Monica was a blast and didn’t give a fuck about nuthin’. Do you have several life times under your belt already? Seems so. Also, wow, that kitchen!
Oh my gosh, you are still grieving so deeply, and my heart goes out to you. It all comes through so clearly in your writing. I hope that some day you will be truly free of all that loss and hurt and pain.
33 year professional university science student, lol. Yes 33 years. BS, BS, AS, Minor, Minor, Premed 3.72 gpa chose not to go to med school in 2018. Couldn't stand the thought of being INDOCTRINATED into Western Medicine. Against my innate beliefs. Thank goodness or I would currently owe $150,000.00 and be unemployed. Last year RN student 4.0 gpa. and can't complete. Also chose not to pursue MS indoctrination either. Tried out a MS in Integrative Genomics. Not to my liking (my childs diagnosis was genetic as well). University master gardener , naturapath, herbalist, and medical intuitive 24 years. Prolific to a fault and at the demise of many close relationships with my few friends, family, and my personal health, Covid Scientific Researcher 2+ years. Basically living low income welfare wagon retired life entire 33 years. Raised 2 children alone. Gifted with a child angel. 2nd son, and a polished soul, Gabriel diagnosed terminal at 10 months. He live 8 years. I was his care provider and he ours. Now I live alone in a lovely small house with a water fall and garden and am extremely uncertain about closing my eyes, letting go of my safe but very financially poor life and moving into the coorprate world of cannabis cultivation and a future of unknowns that potentially could be of my dreams. Working with Plant Medicine. Medicinal cannabis company with further recreational potential although I would prefer a Variety of plant medicines and the ability to still grow food if I have any time left over after working 40 hours per week and which I've never done before. I'm just over 50 yrs young. Have tons of hoard, 29 years of life to let go of and get rid of, holding me back. Must give up welfare wagon, all my stuff, move into the unkown, and hope to fulfill my destiny. Scared straight. But my soul, intuition, and synchronicity are glaring so brightly that I can hardly ignore. Anyone have any thoughts on this move? and thank you for sharing Monica.
A lot of life-lessons wisdom in this piece. Yes, you've been prepared for loss. Once you've already made a groove for starting over, much easier to find it the next time you need it. I have my own big loss stories and I know the territory. The cracks pain can wield turn out to create ground for new growth. Thanks - well written and really enjoyed that.
Some of us went through that after 2008. I'm finding myself in a considerably better position in 2022, far more prepared and ready. Even as the scale of what is coming will dwarf the Great Recession.
I grew up dirt poor. My parents were both alcoholics. Dad couldn't hold a job and we were always getting kicked out and moving. If I wanted anything, I had to steal it or build it. Thank God I got caught stealing when I was 10 and it scared the shit out of me. And I found I was good at building things. My first bike was pieced together from scrap. It got stolen, lol. I still have a poor person's mindset. New things don't interest me, never had the latest anything. My kids, however, grew up solidly middle class, since I started a business at a young age and made decent money. I had 11 kids or we could have done better, lol. And they have a totally different mindset. It pains me to see them have to have the latest phone, fancy cars (one has a BMW), and houses they can just barely make the mortgage payments on. If things go much further south in this country, I don't know if they'll make it.
I come for the biting wit and cynicism, but this was touching. You are an excellent writer.
Rebuilding myself and my relationship with the world after loss is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. There’s no question that the pain and grief prepared me in ways I could not imagine to transcend my past self in these past two years of madness, same as it seems to have done for you. Keep shining, Monica. We’re all here, too, building something new and brave and beautiful.
2008 crisis hit us hard. My Dad tried to teach us about the boom n bust cycle n to live comfortably below our means. Some lessons you have to learn the hard way. This bust didn’t impact us as much bc we are downsized from our “golden” house living comfortably below r means lol. Our kids were in HS n college when 2008 hit n have memories of what we went through n so many of their friends losing everything, We now look back and say it was a valuable for us to learn when we still had years in workforce to recover n our kids never want a “golden” residence.
I definitely have bookcase envy after viewing those gorgeous photos.
One of the happiest things I have done was to walk away from a life in Napa and to live and travel in an Airstream. Simple life is actually best…
Thank you for your openness.
Crystal forms from condensation of something voluminous into more compact states, but there's also simmering down a sauce into a thicker, richer flavor. Becoming smaller is not always becoming less; loosening one's grip of the unnecessary frees up strength and space to tuck more into the authentic expression of one's joy and soul. Become a neutron star, and you'd be seen and felt from very far away.