There is a two word phrase from the past two years, on the rise for the last two decades, that I detest with every fiber of my being.
You know what it is. I refuse to write it here. And sometimes I feel that if I hear it uttered even once more, I will scream.
It’s too bad that multiple videos can’t be shared in Substack, because I have a collection of videos taken from various flights in my friend’s Piper Tripacer here in the midwest. Here is one of them.
I offer it in the spirit of the beautiful scenes below, because that’s what it feels like.
I also offer this piece as a tribute to my late friend Chris, in case you missed it, who embodied this type of living.
Refuse to be domesticated.
I’m not being literal. I’m not saying you need to go flying in the tiniest airplanes possible or jumping off Elijah Rock like Chris and I did at Kinzua Reservoir.
But it’s a metaphor. As Chris said to me 25 years ago, “Jump in.”
Live dangerously in your own way, while you still can.
I never got married, raised an astonishing daughter (who I am lucky enough to live with now in my third act of life) and when people say to me, "wow, you look/act/are amazing, what's your secret?" I have always said, "I was never domesticated!!" I do think women especially need to reclaim their wildness right now, and be big and large with it. To speak up, to shout out, to refuse to comply, to have opinions and shout them from the rooftops. To leave abusive relationships and dare to strike out on our own, to trust that support will come from unexpected and expected places, to dare to let go of safe and comfortable. I subscribe to Matthew Crawford on Substack, and he recently had this to say:
"Over the past few months I have received a large number of communications—both from friends, interested parties, and people whom I don't trust alike—that go something like this, "You're opening a very dangerous can of worms."
Yeah, well, we all die somehow. What a shame it would be for that to mean nothing."
I was so struck by that - what a shame it would be for my death to mean nothing! Those of us who have lived a full and rich life already, this is why we are here.
100%. I give this an A+++ (from a former teacher :P )
That's a great answer (on domestication). I'm frequently told I look younger than I am. My secret is to not to wash my face. Kind of like when that hippie dad in "Meet the Parents 2" says, "This is my cast iron pan. I've never washed it!"
hahahaha. ( But I'm serious.)
"I do think women especially need to reclaim their wildness right now, and be big and large with it."
Yes, me too.
One belief I've come to in the past decade is that our relationships with romantic partners (even friends) and the state are often colored by our childhood traumas.
Abusive relationships take two to tango. Stockholm Syndrome.
I don't think we need to shout from rooftops. When no one obeys, no one can rule. It's that simple.
I'm a big fan of the early 20th century "libertarian" women. In fact, one of my ideas is to read aloud Rose Wilder Lane's seminal short book, On Liberty.
I like this one, too, an excerpt from Ayn Rand's Fountainhead:
[DEAN] “My dear fellow, who will let you?”
[ROARK] “That’s not the point. The point is, who will stop me?”
Same me. I am asked what do I use to look so young for my age for my skin . I say only water and only when I am very dirty I use glycerin soap or natural soap. Nothing else. Since I do not take my oils out I don't need cream and the skin is happy. I do not use any skin cosmetics so it can breath at all times. Covering up your skin is the worst you can do. And then you need to wash it off every day which is also bad. I use eye liner if going out thats all i feel I need. I am getting grey streaks on my temples and am debating if I should do something or not. I hate to color my whole head for a few streaks only.
Ditto on the cast iron ranch/camping pan
Of course 100% "One belief I've come to in the past decade is that our relationships with romantic partners (even friends) and the state are often colored by our childhood traumas.
Abusive relationships take two to tango. Stockholm Syndrome".
Plus adolescent romantic fantasies of an ideal relationship partner projected onto the Prince/Queen. Wash, rinse and repeat is typical behavior pattern!
Our wildness was diminished to only let it out in sexuality and dress up ala 1984. No real skills in warfare etc...
I just flew my C-182 around Central Texas today. Went to Arkansas and fly fished for rainbows and brown trout earlier this week. Saw the dam JFK dedicated .. America is worth standing up and fighting for!!
Life is full of risks! Live it fully!
I was wild and adventurous in my twenties.
I was also domesticated, as a stay at home mother (by choice) to four daughters, but managed to retain my wildness by giving birth to my last three daughters without an MD, the last two at home with midwives, and raising them holistically.
As a divorced woman with controversial views on just about everything mainstream, I am now, at age 63, more wild and outspoken than ever.
I have a lot of women friends who delivered in home births, etc. Or they tried to do so. These are the women I tend to gravitate toward in close friendships, though I never had children myself.
"Have you heard of the term rewilding?"
Yes, I have, and I'm generally of this spirit myself. It comes from other places. though, including my childhood upbringing in the Adirondacks, and the examination of health in the paleolithic.
There are multiple ways to converge on similar results.
🥰
Have you heard of the term rewilding?
It is a popular theme in the holistic circles I am a part of.
I believe it will most serve the world, when women are once again deeply in touch with their innate wildness.
Having studied the Goddess traditions of Hinduism with a Harvard scholar, I have a different perspective on women’s abilities and strengths.
Oh Out of Africa…my absolutely FAVORITE movie! I’m not one to watch a film over and over but Out of Africa is my exception. Plus I love the music. I think I was there in a previous life! 🙏🏻💓
Been there (with Christian Medical Dental Society) and walked in the rows if coffee still being nurtured. Wow
Yes! I love gatomalo’s motto: become ungovernable. Apply that to every sphere of your life and experience the real joy of freedom. Nothing tastes sweeter.
I believe I am that already. My four young adult daughters have also been trying to control me for years! It’s not working😂
heh heh 😈
More like 👸🏻- There is no goddess emoji.
As I tell my youngest daughter, if nothing else, I have 40 more years of life experience than you do.
Now you have me curious! What are your kids trying to control? 🙃
dancing or singing spontaneously, my political views, my views on the LGBTQ, phenomenon, laughing too loud and comedies, Letting my hair go gray 10 years ago, on and on 😂
Not wearing a mask...
Ohhhhhhhh. Hahaha!
I performed in some Broadway dance performances with my then 10 year old, now 26 y/o who is a phenomenal dancer. When the time came to audition for the production of Chicago, my two youngest daughters told me that under no circumstances was I “allowed” to be on stage in a low cut leotard with fishnet stockings! I wasn’t really that interested anyway, so I performed in Mamma Mia and West side story instead in some lead roles. I had to wear a silver bodysuit and 5 inch heel silver boots, up to my knees in Mamma Mia. They were OK with that😂🤣I raised some strong minded daughters. Only the eldest never tries to control me.
The silver bodysuit is definitely more up my alley. haha
Mine too.
While serving in the RAF many years ago and doing an overseas tour in Germany I will never forget the day when I saw the pilot of a Secpcat Jaguar eject after snagging his undercarriage on the arrester barriers during a routine landing. When talking later with the squadron goundcrew I learned that the various squadrons would compete with eachother as who could get the tire marks on landing closest to the barrier.
🤣when did you learn how to fly? Yesterday 🥁🛎
GET IN!
Or as Chris said to me 25 years ago, "Jump in."
Well! So we’ve been living differently and (some might say) ‘dangerously’ for decades, and even more ‘dangerously’ (I think most would say) the past decade, crossing oceans full time in a small boat and living a life a large majority will dream about, but will never actually do. Where nature essentially rules the roost, and you go the sleep (if you have the chance) knowing that the next day will be totally different from the one you just experienced. For most, routines run their lives even if they don’t think about it that way. Routines are comforting. We understand and respect that, but living dangerously requires one to step out of the comfort zones routines provide.
We are 67 and 66. Married 42 years. Together for 46. One of our marriage ‘goals’ was to cram as much adventure and adrenaline rushes into however much time we had left on the earth. And to instill the same sense into our two boys.
We are not wealthy and at times have struggled financially for the simple refusal to try and fit ourselves into what most of society considers normal. The farther removed from that we are, the better we like it.
We are physically slowing down a bit now. Age and some of our ‘adventures’ (and mishaps lol) are now beginning to show up in our physical bodies. But we are as spiritually and mentally sharp as we have ever been. And the next adventure and a new dose of living dangerously is looming on the horizon. We can’t quite see it yet, but if I had to guess it will be showing up shortly.
I have so much admiration and envy over your lifestyle! Thanks for sharing your stories. I don’t have the skills to do offshore sailing yet. But I’m very independent and wild in other ways.
Hey thanks. Very kind. And yes you are, as your life and stories reflect. It’s funny, setting out to develop a Coley’s Toxin treatment takes more courage (in my mind) than sailing offshore. Perspective is everything I guess. Having lived in the AUS/NZ part of the world, you already know what passes for an ‘offshore’ vessel there versus in the US is miles apart. A safe offshore passage is 80% crew, 10% luck, and 10% the boat. And the luck part can be reduced about down to zero if one adheres to John Vigor’s Black Box Theory. I’ll see if I can send you a link.
We are working on a new adventure. Not there yet. Having a small family graveside ceremony and celebration on 12 July to return both of my parents to the earth. Pretty sure their spirits are already in heaven. Once that is over and done we will be ready to figure out exactly what is next.
Hah!
I'm fond of saying, "Making Coley's toxins does not take brains. It takes balls."
I would like to get more sailing experience. I'm not too far from the Chesapeake now. Perhaps I can crew on some boats for short trips.
http://www.johnvigor.com/Black_Box_Theory.html
Hopefully this link will work.
This makes complete sense.
Thanks for sharing! <3
I work for an alumni group made up of retired aviators. These guys were all the best of the best! (sorry not sorry for the reference to Top Gun :) ) Over the years I've learned a few things about them that have changed my life: 1. they all have a true passion and joy for what they do/did- in their case - flying; 2. they all have a very deep faith in a higher power, and 3. they all believe in giving back. Working for them has been one of my greatest blessings- I used to live my life fearfully but now I try every day to be the best human I can be and to get out there and live.
The guy flying this plane I’m in believes in all three as well, except for #2.
😛
I do not subscribe to any particular religion but I definitely believe there is a force that guides all of life. I've experienced it first hand.
Best way to learn though. You do need to have a good skipper, not some idiot who thinks she or he is King Neptune. I liked to sub because I could always say no and if I did not have a good time I didn’t have to go back. Racing can suck when there is no wind, or when there is way too much wind. But as you obviously already know, you learn a lot of stuff quickly.
Kiwis are extraordinary sailors and I did learn a lot in a short period of time there.
Subbing sounds good because... sometimes you don't like the people on a particular boat. LOL.
Having to be tied to a particular boat whose crew you don't like would kinda suck.
Have a safe one ...
Hahahaha!!
Found one! Piper Tripacer - used - under $40,000!!!!! I'm ALL in ...... now to convince my wife (she's still pissed over the sailboat I bought 10 years ago).....
Haha. What type of sailboat?
"The Last Beach" was filmed in Melbourne in the 50s. Garbo famously said she could see why it was called "The Edge of the Earth". The last humans left, taking crazy risks, risking lives... because there would be NO next Generation. But it'll be strerility, not radiation, that cloaks the earth in silence.
That was amazing!
Whereas sailing offshore takes brains, not balls. Haha. I can’t think of anywhere I have ever been where racers were not looking for crew. Even semi warm bodies would suffice. And if you knew anything at all about sailing, sign her up. I’m sure that wherever you are close to, there is a local racing organization. In New Bern for example it was Neuse River Yachting Assoc. Someone looking to crew could contact them via email or phone. Then they would blast out an email saying they had a live one. 2/3 of the boats in the fleet were always short handed. I was on the sub list. I got multiple calls every race. It’s really the best way to learn, if you have a good skipper.
Yeah, you're right. I did crew on races at Bucklands Beach Yacht Club.
I sort of disliked racing but maybe I should give it another crack.
♥️♥️♥️
i flew a plane a few times when i was 16, i found most of it kinda boring and would have rather been flying a spitfire than a cessner, maybe one day. didnt enjoy landing at all tho
https://www.controller.com/listings/for-sale/north-american/p-51-mustang/aircraft
a bargain but with fuel prices i'd never be able to take her out